The worst movies we've endured in the first half of 2017.
As evidenced by our 25 Best Movies So Far list, 2017 has thus far been a pretty impressive year, but like any year it's had its share of turkeys. Here, in alphabetical order, are the 10 movies that most made us rethink our love of cinema in the first half of 2017.
Baywatch
We said: "Dwayne Johnson's all-American sincerity, which usually brightens up every movie he appears in, is at odds with this film's snark, and hearing expletives come from his mouth is akin to stumbling across Jimmy Stewart's sex tape."
CHiPs
We said: "It's a movie with nothing to say other than disabilities are funny, older women's bodies are gross and Ducatis are awesome. CHiPs is an insult to fans of the original show, but more so to anyone with an ounce of humanity."
Fifty Shades Darker
We said: "It's the Empire Strikes Back of excrement. Your safe word is 'avoid'."
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol.2
We said: "The sort of juvenile potty-mouthed exercise you expect from Troma, the low budget studio that gave director James Gunn his start, all turd jokes and outdated sub-Tarantino pop culture references."
King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
We said: "As incomprehensible as it is insufferable, King Arthur looks like a movie edited by a Singer sewing machine."
Live by Night
We said: "Affleck is onscreen for practically the entire movie, yet never comes close to resembling a living, breathing human. At the end of Live by Night, the question isn't so much 'What did I just watch' as 'Who did I just watch?'"
Mindhorn
We said: "A comedy that ventures in territory previously explored by the Austin Powers and Alan Partridge franchises, producing tired and derivative results."
The Promise
We said: "The producers of The Promise, a lunk-headed romance set against the backdrop of the mass slaughter of ethnic Armenians by the Turkish army at the outset of WWI, clearly believe this is a story worth telling. It is, but not as portrayed here, like a nightmarish mash-up of Schindler's List and Fiddler on the Roof."
Rings
We said: "Rings contains a few reminders that in the right hands, and made for the right reasons, this is a franchise that could still offer something worthwhile for horror fans. But it's made by the wrong hands, and for the wrong reasons. First you watch it, then you die. Of boredom!"
Tomboy
We said: "Tomboy could have been a comeback for Walter Hill on the level of Paul Verhoeven's Elle, but it suffocates under the weight of its subject matter as its creator naively attempts to avoid controversy."